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"What's another word for 'thesaurus'?"

Polly txt speak

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

I will study my speling words...

'Why can't we have a texting bee?'

Someone who knows apostrophes

'What amazes me most is that years ago I couldn't even spell teacher - now I are one!'

Smith Academy. A Tradition of Excellense.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

"Nuts to you, too."

'The definition of OBSOLETE: old fashioned dictionaries.'

"Sorry I'm late. I overslept." "Is that even a real word?"

"Let's fall in love and live in the subjunctive."

"So, hw ws yr smmr?"

Contemporary English Lesson: The Cat was Sat on the Mat.

"Dad, can we have a bedtime narrative?"

"You have no idea what it's like to be a 'just between you and me' person in a 'just between you and I' world."

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

"I've just invented the question mark."

"Darn autocorrect!"

Sometimes Y Turn

"I found out why we study vocabulary. Last night, my mother told me to ruminate, and I spent three hours in my room."

In an unprecedented occurrence, Noah Webster fails his vocabulary test.

The First Sentence Fragment: 'Hey, don't -'

"We're developing a plan to fix this."

'The meaning of life? sorry, I can only answer 'true or false' questions.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'What does coincide mean?' 'It's what you do when it starts to rain.'

"Call me, Ishmael."

"If you want to sing in our band, you'll have to overcome your fear of using double negatives."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"These meetings were a lot shorter before we invented compound sentences."

English Lesson No. 1