Visiting Scholar T-Shirts

"He walked in, said he was a visiting scholar, and made himself at home."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

The Bookworm

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

"Maybe he's so sad that he's leaving us to go to college that he actually looks happy. Please don't ruin it for me with reality."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

K9 Literati

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"The teacher expects too much of me. She wants me to give it the old college try, and I'm only in grade school."

"An educational toy is my immediate goal, but my long range plan is to get him on Jeapordy!"

'It's my application to Harvard...'

"Before you grade my test, keep in mind, my dream is to become a wealthy doctor, just like my available father"

'I had no idea there would be a test.'

Yahoo! What's that about? She got into the college of her choice. Which college is it? Not sure. She chose to apply to 37. West Fester High School.

"Class, this is Mr. Elzondo. He's going to talk about going to college."

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

A Terrible Shock

'That piggy bank is for my college fund.'

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

Parental Role Model

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

'F.G.G. First Grade Graduate.'

"Cheer up, might never happen!"

You can tell which seniors got accepted early admission! West Fester High School.

"The counselor wasn't much help about getting into college. All he said was to study hard and get good grades."

'My parents couldn't afford to send me to college, so they let me spend a night at a Ramada.'

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

Brothers Grimm

A girl climbs a ladder of books

'I was working on my online degree, until my computer went on sabbatical.'

'That should be good for quite a few doctoral dissertations in the future.'