Virus Skeptic Prints

Council To Re-open America

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Nice try, Jim, but there's no such thing as a 'Beer cleanse'."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

Safety Barriers

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

'My daughter read on the internet about a hip replacement with free built-in MP3 player,'

'There's nothing wrong with him-just delusions of glandular.'

"He's so anti-regulation he won't even take a laxative."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'Biggest damn virus I've ever seen!'

"To save you from destruction I will now wipe out mankind!"

"I've mutated."

"Too much caution can take all the fun out of life." "Mind if I get a second opinion?"

The council wanted us to have a Healthy Lifestyle Monitor

"Wellness clinics, stress-management checkups, hypertension screenings, lab tests, crisis after crisis. Fibre foods, fish-oil capsules, unsaturated spreads, plaque. Say what they may, McCormack, we did it our way."

"...And those are some of the books I would have read if the Internet had never been invented."

"Well, who you gonna believe? Me or Wikipedia?"

"When I was a kid there was no internet. If you wanted to bully someone, you had to do it to their face."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"Tarzan hate frivolous lawsuits."

"In a nutshell Mr. Beesley, you have hypochondria."

"My self esteem is low ... how come I never got hacked?"

'Coins, when swallowed, cause cancer. Perhaps money should be banned.'

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Doubts about Astrazeneca vaccine

Astrazeneca vaccine pause

"Oh, sure! Blame the monkey!"

'Mrs. Tomkins says her prescription has no side effects, so it can't be doing her any good.'

'Can I trust a Doctor whose prescriptions have absolutely no side effects?'

Alien observes Earth: A giant virus molecule.

Dr. Nutrition, would you say our tuna sandwiches could prevent hair loss? Dr. Nutrition. Given how furry you are, I'll take that as a yes. I will tell our customers the great news. I really appreciate your input, Dr. Nutrition. You are a valued scientific authority. The key to a successful scam is maintaining the pretense at all times.

'How can we get the flu? We are the flu.'