Virtue Explorer Pillows

"I received your text message about the importance of tolerance and forgiveness. Now what did you do?"

"Now dear...remember the sermon on PATIENCE..."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

"And these are the Fab Four Noble Truths."

"Home depot."

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

Tiny Visions

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You must heal yourself.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Christian and Born again Christian...

FAQs.

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.

The Path

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"All the celebrities come here."

"Did you have a cat?"

Truth

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"The answer you seek can be found in the syllabus."

"Pastor, may we share a message with you about humility?"

"Hey Frank, any plans for after church?"

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"I'm not really into organized religion, though I am very spiritual."