Virtual Team Member Mugs

"Thanks for coming in."

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"I'll be glad when they invent PowerPoint."

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

'Hey, I'm not paying you people to watch the clock. That's Henderson's job.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

"This is not what I meant when I said you needed to practice your play fighting..."

Targets.

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'Jeff is a tackle on his online college football team.'

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

Whack, Out of Whack.

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'All right, gentlemen, this is the current picture of our growth industry!'

"Gosh, 'inept' seems so harsh. Personally, I prefer the term 'productivity-challenged!'"

'Our gymnasium is being repaired so we played sports games on our computers.'

'Only another thirty-four years, five months and fourteen days until I retire.'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

Baseball Clubhouse Pranks

Welcome to Teamville, Population: 7 ... great people to work with.

Friday 5.30pm.

Indoor Football

'It's from my staff...make sure it's not carnivorous.'

If found, please return to cubicle L-325.

"Hey Dolly, get back here!"

Negative Interest Meeting

"This report is replete with errors, distortions and downright lies, yet I find its moral message quite uplifting."

'Any chance of getting your alarm clock fixed?

"No, playing fantasy football doesn't count as exercise. No wonder you pulled a muscle getting up on the table."

'Get a new hair-do, join a health club, call your mother...'

'Remember, only the consumer is still consumer concious.'