
The Return of the Germ
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The Return of the Germ
"Her first word was 'paparazzi'. "
"Technology isn't making me smarter. It's allowing me to be dumb, faster."
"Eat not of the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge. Its sources have yet to be verified."
"Did you get my tweet?"
I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?
"OMG, LOL!"
Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.
Comicron
"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."
"I just edited your Wikipedia entry." "Big whoop." "What a coincidence, that's what scientists have classified you as: Bigwhoop." "...The much grumpier, much louder, and much, much older second cousin of Bigfoot." "You lousy son of a..." "Wait... thank you. That's very flattering."
"I change my mantra every two months so no one can hack my soul."
"Will follow you on social media for food."
'My dog ate my computer.'
Chasebook
"She looks just like in your photos."
"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C
"Larry, what's the weather forecast?" "Let me ask you something. Did you make waffles this morning? Because someone had maple syrup on their hands, and I seem to recall a hand moving me... a pretty, pretty, pretty sticky hand..."
Standard Life Aberdeen Rebrand
'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'
The Smartass Phone
"Don't worry about her sucking her thumb. Soon she'll be texting with it."
"You looked a lot bigger on your dating profile."
"Alright. What should we watch first - the Youtube video or the comments below?"
Bill was so determined to Twitter no one dared tell him he couldn't do it with a calculator.
Boris in Lockdown
"If he has more than 20 followers on Twitter we call him a 'celebrity'."
Advertising on the internet.
"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."
Twitter that!
'The boss said to get rid of all the pirated software before he returns, which will be in about five to ten years.'
"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."
'Catch this!'
'for more obit info, go to...'
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