Vip Spotter T-Shirts

'He's in Who's Who.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'-Not THE Queen Vic?'

Young boy thinks he's spotted an old rocker.

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"My spokesperson won't speak to me."

Commonly confused homonyms: Frigate and Frigate

"I was at a party with SO many famous people, I was the only one there I'd never heard of..!"

Cat on Board.

Polar Bear Paparazzi.

'It's very exclusive - if you bump into a celebrity you get a full refund.'

"Should I as for an autograph? The cow's famous. It was in a Far Side cartoon."

"If small stars keep planets in line, what do big stars do?"

Sunset Attraction

Motorway notices reading: 'Fog. But if you can read this, it isn't that bad'.

"You are Here" sign on mountain.

8 items or fewer.

Maps of the Human Genome

"I'd just like to congratulate you on how skillfully you've hidden my novel!"

Do not pass.

'Look! There's Santa!'

Veteran mistakes ironclad ship for Noah's Ark

"He loves to give autographs!"

'Hey, isn't that that bloke off the telly?'

' I don't understand! He's never done that before!!'

"He likes to make clients feel important..."

"Are you expecting someone, Caroline?"

Maps to celebrities courtside seats

'I can't believe they're using my mantra to sell beer.'