Vintage Jokes Mugs

"Your early stuff was funnier."

"Er – if you young people don't mind, I have a few things to do now. Perhaps you have a hotel or somewhere to go?"

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Sorry guys... budget cuts !'

'Sigh! So that's what love is all about...'

'The village's oldest inhabitant? We did have one, but he died.'

Two men toting a dog in a carriage by foot, while the dog sticks his head out the window.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Moscow 1917

"He reports to Grand Central Palace tomorrow."

'Admit it, you've been laughing behind my back ever since 1957 when we went in that hall of mirrors in Skegness!'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"It's time you had those dinosaur hips replaced."

"Let that breathe a little. But not too much. My last bottle hyperventilated."

Mr. Toots becomes particular - Diogenes also

"Cassius Clay....Muhammad Ali....was one name his chatroom nickname or user name?"

'How kids really saw Mr Robinson in computer classes.'

A man selling a horse to an older lady

'Oh yeah. He's the fastest in the west alright. The fastest out of town, at the first sight of trouble.'

"Ooops is a bit of an understatement, don't you think Cardigan?"

'I'll wait for Harold one more year. He hasn't crossed the finish line yet from the 1932 Olympic's marathon.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

The Enemy

"I hate to sound like a sergeant, Ralph, but it's ten minutes to six."

'The crepes of wrath.' 'Joad's mobile pancake store.'

'Ain't it great, Wally, to be over the hill and not under it!'

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

"Typical! - The Frobishers' have fire and the wheel..."

Its a poor heart that never rejoices

Old Martin Chuzzlewit Suspects the Landlady without Reason

1874: Custer's Last Stand-Up

Gunswinger

"Ordered fifty-eight days ago and it's here already!"