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Learning to Swim

"I've lost two whole millimetres since Tuesday."

Men reading the morning paper on the train

'A lot of successful politicians opposed the Vietnam war, Senator, but if you were actually a MEMBER of the Viet Cong....'

What's a good name for Charles when he's king?

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Piranhaclaus

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

'Well,he certainly has his father's nose!'

'It's called 'cause and effect.' I pound this log and Tarzan goes bananas.'

"Recalculating route..."

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

"She wishes to range free!"

Disraeli Stands for 'British Interests' Against Russian Expansionism

'I'm into New Age. My new age is 26.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

"Guide to physical comedy fish"

"No, being declawed is the opposite of being a cyborg!"

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

Babies first words are 'Take me to your leader'

"The first step is admitting you're a dog."

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

'Play post office? -- I don't like violent games.'

"Wow! So you think my chronic self-hatred may just be an undiagnosed case of lactose intolerance?"

The great Chartist demonstration. No. I. - A loyal citizen.

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

"Eat your vegetarian or you'll go extinct!"

'Your resume seems in order, Mr. Lupo, but would you explain exactly why you want to work here> Mr. Lupo...?

"It's nowhere near as far away as we thought!"

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'