Vino Afficionado Pillows

'Wine region.'

WIne bar

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I'll do the movie but I want to be highly compensated and highly acclaimed."

"Now I really hate poetry."

Sauvignon Bonk

"Hey grandpa, tell us more about the time you were in that Steven Spielberg movie."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

'The way I see it, sobriety is a preventable, condition.'

'My luck, I buy a bottle of wine from 450 B.C. and it's still five years from reaching maturity.'

"Wait 'til my Dad hears about this!"

Join me in a Martini?

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"Buy a man a six-pack, he drinks for a day. Teach him to brew, he drinks all his life."

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

'He's holding a sign saying he's marooned with 20 cases of La Tache. A second sign: drop a corkscrew and come back in six months.'

"Bloody hell!"

'Your husband? He's just leaving...'

Wine Selection 'Here we are. Our cheapest house wine. Would the gentleman care to smell the twisty cap?'

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

Kritik's Korner

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Which wine list would you like, Sir - Classics or Plonk?'

Canadian film production

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"We need to make it through at least one movie, so we have something to root for during the Oscars."

"Jack Daniels-in-a-box"

Moby Dick

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

Al, why is my goldfish zigzagging? Perhaps sharing my beer with him was a case of misplaced generosity on my part.