Video Rental Clerk Pillows

'The only character witness is a video rental clerk who will testify you always rewound your videotapes.'

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

'He wanted to know if anyone had ever brought out a keep-fat video.'

"After viewing the video footage, it wasn't the dog making the mess, after all..."

Man in Video Shop, "Seen it, Seen it, Seen it, wouldn't want to"

'Here is the lead-based paint information, Fair Housing criteria, laws regarding tobacco use outdoors slip-and-fall warning, and barring any further public hysteria, the lease itself.'

'Busy day?'

God at the Galalactic Videostore

"If we ain't got it, it ain't worth watching"

Stubborn Al's Video

"The DVD you want is on my right earlobe."

'I think Beatrix wants to show you her latest video installation.'

"We didn't realize the CCTV footage was doctored until our precinct fanboy found a continuity mistake."

Video Shop, "His, hers, unhappy compromise."

Man in video store sees video entitled: 'Police, violence, camera, legal action.'

'Please help me, sir -- I haven't rented a video in three days!'

Videos You've Forgotten You've Seen Already

'I have a complaint about one of your window clerks.'

"Blasted thunderstorm! Reset the video clock Igor!"

"It'll have to be your place. I Airbnb'd myself out of my apartment tonight."

'I'm sorry I don't date during sweeps week.'

'Are you aware that you have three BlockBuster videos that need to be returned?'

'I tried to do my term paper, but the video store doesn't have ANYTHING about the Spanish-American War!'

'With every DVD you get a free newspaper!'

"I hate the way it seems to stare at you after you shut it off."

An officer purchasing a train ticket

'Do you have Vertigo?'

"Oh, I don't watch these exercise videos. I get my excercise by walking here to rent one and then returning it."