Vet Nurse Pillows

'Now there's a vet that needs a holiday.'

Stupid vet tricks (Vet trying to trick a dog into getting an injection by waving a bone in front of it).

'What makes you say the medication I prescribed for Fido is causing side effects?' 'Meow.'

'I can tell you one thing, Madam. These ears have been neglected...

'I think he's got conjunctivitis'

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'...and now, Doctor, if you have satisfactorily disinfected your hands,...

'The veterinarian made brushing his teeth sound so easy.'

'I said 'barium,' not 'bury him'!'

'Did we get you out of bed, Doctor?'

'This is going to hurt me more than it will hurt you!'

"Well, ungrateful human patients SUE their doctors. Mine just kick and bite!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

Benevolence Pet Clinic.

'But I told you I was going to do a radical ear resection!'

'I wish I could scratch my ears.'

"I'm thinking sixty nine."

"None of the candidates - not one - talks about health insurance for use."

"Would you say the pain is more like a me-ow or a me-ouch?"

"He's down to his last three or four lives."

"Anxiety? No, nothing that I've noticed out of the ordinary."

'I've never seen a healthier kitten. Cuter, most definitely, but never healthier.'

'Newfoundland! Accident in the waiting room!'

'I wouldn't bother you on a Sunday if it weren't urgent...'

Dog wearing a cone

'HEEL!...HEEL!'

Know your dog - The brain.

Man On Bear's Lap In Vet Clinic

"By the way, Doctor - would the shots you just gave Princess make any difference if she were pregnant?"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

"What 'thump?'"

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

"The first one's just a warning."