Verbal Sparring Aficionado Pillows

A poison pen fights a poison mic.

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

'But he's supposed to tell everyone how much you weigh! '

Duel in a wheelchair.

"Sadie, I just heard they discovered lots of ancient cities buried hundreds of years ago in the jungles of Cambodia. They've each got weird geometric patterns outlining what may have been gardens. But no one really knows what they were used for. I guess what I'm asking you is... what were they used for? Y'know, since you were there to see them in their prime. They were used for ritual sacrifices of dullards. For educational purposes, I shall now perform one."

'Are you sure you saw my client do it? Let me remind you, it takes one to know one.'

Nature vs. Nietzsche.

"Try a new tactic, punch back."

Attorney Punching Bag

"Yes, you look presentable. Now get on!"

"Ohhh... He's out all right!"

Man and Women in a Boxing Ring

'One pundit tonight is from a think tank, the other writes 'Books for Dummies'.'

"I've been thinking harder than you have, and my thought experiment disproves your thought experiment."

'I went for a walk this morning...' - 'I ran 20 miles... uphill.' - '...and I had bran flakes for breakfast.' - 'Yeah, well I ate 19 sausages, 3 melons, and a horse.' - 'I'm going for a pee.' - 'I swear I could flood this place!!'

'At the Spoonerism cafe...' 'Ah - here comes my carrots and peas.'

Bar bouncer resumes.

'What do you mean, 'you can read me like a book'? You've never read a book!'

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

'I've gone over the fight tapes and I think I've pinpointed your weakness.'

'What you look at it? You want a piece of me, is that what you want?'

Sharp Tongue.

"Sweetie, words have the power to hurt. I'll teach you some of the most effective ones."

"You got him running scared, kid. He thinks he might actually kill you."

"Yes, you'll do it? Or yes, you wish I were dead?"

World Ping-Pong Federation.

'I say, Addison

"You have defamed me, sir. I challenge you to a cage fight in Las Vegas!"

"In this corner, a man who describes everything as 'Orwellian.' And in this corner, a guy who loves saying 'Kafka-esque!'"

'I think his hand's getting sore.'

'The guy on the right seems pretty confident.'

Get your oranges! Five for a dollar! Bananabananabananabanana! Potatoes! Six for one, six for one. "It's what we're hearing in the market."

Boxing.

At the international middle-weight dissing championships.

Thank goodness, SAVED by the Bell!'