Veggie Venture Capitalist T-Shirts

'Not a shed, just a shop.'

Profit

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

'You're close, Spencer, but usually a business plan is a little more involved!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

'Based on your travels, what would you say is the greatest potential downside, if any, to investing in the Upper Amazon?'

"I hope we can sell everything before it's time for mom to make dinner."

"With this company, it's like 'Adventure Capital."

Veggie Hall of Fame.

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

S.S.dot.com

Vegetarian Nightmare.

Big Bang For Your Buck Investments...Specializing in space technology.

'Dad, you know that I'd never buy a pet that eats meat. Luckily, I found a guy who sold me the World's only vegetarian dog!'

"Money is life's report card."

'I begin to question whether this startup ever had venture capital.'

"Three wishes? Dream on. That was in the heady days before venture capital and advertising revenue disappeared."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"A good quarter is a joy forever."

"Let's all sing our theme song: 'I Love Venture Capital'."

'All my venture capital is tied up in Miss Umpley, there.'

"Can you go through all the old pitch decks and replace the word 'crypto' with 'AI'?"

"And who, may I ask, is financing this startup country?"

"Harris, I want you to buy up anything that has 'dot com' in their title."

Taken genetic engineering too far

"We want a management buy out - if you'll lend us the money."

"Moreover, profits double if we move in with our parents."