Vegas Prints

Gambler's Luck

An affair to remember.

Las Vegas, the city that never sleeps, or even takes a nap.'

Zombie standup

"As the executor for your mother's estate, let me say that she loved each of you, but she also loved Las Vegas."

Cut out and keep your own Frank Sinatra.

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

King Kongs first christmas

'They say that poker is a sport. I hope they don't start testing for steroids.'

"Would you care to accessorize each other?"

'What do you mean - you 'LET him win'?'

'It's a penny slot--give me a hundred.'

'In the 20 minutes it took for the pit boss to come back with a comp for the $10 buffet, I lost another $500.'

Party Time!

'I need to find a loose machine like that.'

December 26 - Vegas, office (post) Christmas party.

'Sunglasses? Silly hats? Face cards?'

'Las Vegas: What happens here, is a lot less than what was happening here two years ago.'

"They said whatever you left in Las Vegas, stays in Las Vegas."

Entering New York City - Check it out

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

'This is the third one today. Why can't the gynecologists have their convention someplace other than Vegas?'

'Nothing really happened in Vegas, but my money stayed there.'

'I've seen this kind of thing before. In Vegas, I believe.'

Jonathan Bugsy Seagull

Elvis Presley.

You Are Now Entering Las Vegas. Lock Your Car And Open Your Wallet

'I know that you've come away with a small fortune. But you went in with a big one!'

'Sorry, folks - no drinking at the bar - video poker only.'

"You didn't say this was a business lunch!"

Livin' just enough, just enough - for th' city...

'You should take one -- you could only improve your hand.'

Too Much?

Elvis impersonator, managed by Col. Parker's nephew, Eddie.

Ask Sadie. I am getting divorced and I moved to Vegas. Do you think that's a smart move? - Jim. *Actual reader letter. Jim, this is a great question. One I get all the time. You do? Really? Oh yes, people are always asking me for my advice after they've already done something. You're about to yell. What do you need me for if you've already moved, you !@#$ dillweed? She gives that answer all the time.