Vase Virtuoso Pillows

Objets D'Angst

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Coleridge'

Wino Appreciation Group

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

Writer

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

Poetry repairman

"I've joined a wine-lovers club. . . so far there are only three members."