Vase Virtuoso Mugs

Objets D'Angst

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'So it's the Mumm's Cordon Rouge, '98 Pouilly-Fuisse, '86 Chateau Margaux, and the '92 Barsac - would you like any food?'

'How do you folks get away with such flagrant violation of Prohibition?'

'As Chuck's definition of terroir dragged past the 20-minute mark, Suzy concluded, the longer the explanation, the less likely you know what the word means.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

Cats are under tremendous peer pressure to remain useless.

"Hmmm ... perhaps a pinot noir less spilly?"

"In my next album 'Gettin' Back', I refute all the strong beliefs expressed in 'Gettin' There', my previous album."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

"This is nice. You have your knitting and I have my vodka."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

“I’m stayin’ home — I want the world to know — I pro-bab-ly won’t go!”

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

House proud woman vacuums hair from dog.

'Coleridge'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

"When a wine rates over ninety, this is not alcoholism."

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

Poetry repairman

Annette von Droste-Hulshoff

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

I know I'm not qualified for the job, but watch my incredible video resume anyway. It got an Honorable Mention at Cannes!

I'm a songbird. He's my lyricist.

Beatlemania: Open 24/8

'This is all without rhyme or reason.'

"My name is Leonard, and I'll be your auto mechanic for today."

Wino Appreciation Group

'Aha! I think I figured out the headache problem, one of these things is pointed the other way. This would explain the double vision.'

'Apparently, my wine-tasting computer liked the '86 Haut Brion a bit too much - it didn't leave any for us.'

Writer