Vanity Voyeur T-Shirts

This is what Fred gets for wishing for more hair.

"Come on, dear, you're only as bald as you feel."

'He's wearing a toupee.'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

Surfer Blowing Back His Hair.

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

"And now. . . which shoes?"

'Be ready in a minute - just have to put on my face.'

'Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest algologist of all?'

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

"Hair spray"

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

'I'm having a bad whisker day.'

'Still workin' on the beard, Jerry?'

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

TV-Mirror.

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

Vanity artist

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

'Cosmetic surgery.'

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's is the fairest arse of all?'

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

"I see he finally got rid of that idiotic comb-over."

'Your new teeth whitener is keeping me up.'

Toupee in a tin.

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

The Toilet of Helen - For Beardsley's Story 'Under the Hill'

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'