Vanity Appreciators Mugs

"I'm not actually 40 this year but that's the birthday I celebrate every year."

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

"I can never get my sunglasses on my head the way my hairdresser does"

Man admiring his patterned clothes in the mirror

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

'Maybe a helium boob job wasn't such a good idea,babe!'

'Don't all look at me like that! What did you expect the face pack to do for me?'

'I washed the gray right out of my hair, but now I can't get the gray out of my tub.'

Insecurities of the Bald Eagle.

"Hair spray"

"I had a consultation with a plastic surgeon. Now I have to decide whether I want to look old or look weird."

"How are the new lips feeling babe?"

'You're on Deck! Wilson! Hurry up with that pedicure!'

Krest Yellow Strips. (Rat performs dental hygiene.)

Man brushing the teeth of his reflection.

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

'I can't see anything through these ridiculous tiny slits, I'll take them.'

"Look at me, everyone! I'm amazing!"

'Mommy puts on a disguise every time, before she goes to work.'

Vanity artist

TV-Mirror.

'If you ain't broke, I'll fix it.'

'I turn the other cheek more now that Botox has made it wrinkle-free.'

"The selfie of Dorian Gray"

'Get the 'extra hold' bear spray. I want to look good when we come out of hibernation.'

'I like to stay fit. Or at least wear a lot of lycra.'

'I know how you feel.'

"There's something you should consider before you begin—my hair works hard and it plays hard."

Extreme Vanity Press - Fall, 2007

'Having limited funds, Irwin goes with the less expensive chest hair transplant.'

Stars Without Make-Up.

Tanning Machine on the beach

The Paper Silhouette Editor

'Ben believes looking suave is the most important part of fly fishing.'

Bill Jones - Bill Jones w/out makeup