Value Philosopher Pillows

'I'm leaving you because you know the price of everything and the value of nothing.'

Welcome to Flower Ridge - Traditional values strictly enforced.

Dream Analysis

'I am afraid, sir, that in the current economic climate, a picture is now only worth 500 words.'

Ethics exam cheater.

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"Eat my dust!"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

"You need to justify your own existence first."

Slavery Reparations

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"The emoji she used says she loves me..."

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'He's a catch for any woman - there's so much to re-mould'

My mother says the bible is full of good people, like Moses, who brought kindness to the world. That alone makes it a worthy basis for morality in today's world. Moses, Numbers 31:9-18(NIV), look it up.

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Caption Contest TK

'You're in luck. Business ethics is a gray area.'

'The bad news is that our company is bankrupt. The good news is that we're only morally bankrupt.'

'I'm worried about all these unemployed. They're still on our payroll'

"There may be a moral equivalent of war, but, by God, there is not moral equivalent of money."

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'I like a woman who's open and friendly, as long as she's only that way with me.'

"I'm not against going to couples therapy, but it feels weird to do it on a first date."

"World War III? Hmm. O.K., but, remember, nobody gets hurt."

Jewellers - "If you really love your wife to be, then money should be no object."

"Now look, Frank, Molly, there's nothing wrong with a Polar Bear and a Penguin being in a relationship. In fact, in my experience, Polar opposites attract!"

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil clowns is that good clowns do nothing."