Vacuum Fan Mugs

When Anteaters Get Lazy

"Well, isn't that embarrassing."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Man using to much bug spray

"What old school? This is my life."

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

NASA HEADQUARTERS, ACME VACUUM CLEANERS, 'Hi! - I understand that space is full of junk?'

"Thanks for getting me out of the house."

Tortoise polishing his shell

Mr. Macho at the game... and after the game is over.

Antiques

"Yeah, it's a sweet boat Noah, but you're still gonna have to start over."

Ducks crossing.

My grandparents used this to play music. It actually has a needle that allows a track around the record surface. Oh, it's groovy!

We flushed your arteries, checked your fluids, and topped off your AB positive, but look at this kidney - When's the last time you had it replaced?

'It's more like a very good used you.'

"Was that the sensitive spot you were telling me about?"

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

"Everytime he closes a door he opens a window. He's obsessed with airflow."

Fred didn't know what was odder: his wife's beauty tip that hemorrhoid cream reduces bags under the eyes or that he actually tried the tip.

You can tell a lot about a man by his shoes....

Trainspotters.

Noah's Ark slugs.

'The ref likes a good clean fight!'

'Now THAT'S a massage!'

Woman throwing away smoking accessories

"I can't believe how wasteful Humans are: Look at the amount of food they've just thrown out..."

Massage Mushroom Cloud

Did you know there's a growing worldwide system of rails and roads that all lead to China? Did you know China's on the verge of dominating the industries of the future? Did you know China's built fifteen mega-cities? It's like having fifteen New Yorks. Did you know China's building immense undersea tunnels and super-fast high speed rail to create the world's first super-cities that'll be six times the population of New York? Oh, well ... I'm sure we're still number one in all the areas I didn't

"Based on those growth rings maybe that branch was only 39 years old, but there's no way the rest of her is."

Finishing Line

"So. . . how long have you been vaping?"

'The door jammed.'