Vacation Minimalist Gifts

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Hey...remember T.V.?

"He's declared it an area of natural beauty"

Typewriters and Laptops.

"Not to mention the park view."

"Their wedding registry has 8 place settings of double wall, stainless steel water bottles."

Your Entire Life Delivered To Your Door!

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

"For some, minimalism begins at a very early age..."

'You always wanted a larger office with a view.'

"We can do this the easy way or the Hitchcockian way."

Flotation Device on the Phone

"After the truffle season peaks, we like to kick back and do a little clamming."

"It's called 'A Package Holiday'"

'This is a simple proclamation-of-lack-of-interest date.'

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

High Tech/Low Tech.

'No luggage.'

Those magnificent men and their reading machines.

The Adventures of Morton - Reincarnation.

"Hey, Ben! We're in Maine now. We don't have to perform."

"Do you have this in a flat brown sandal?"

Go with the flow. Life's a beach.

"Says here tiny houses are the hot new trend. Didn't I always tell you we're ahead of our time, Doris?"

"I'm going off the grid with the option of grid-binging whenever I want."

'No, it's not a new iPhone, it's a Swiss army knife.'

"I think my filing cabinet is a little more practical."

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

"Say something. I forget what you sound like."

STRIP Hambone: Neddle-less christmas tree screen saver

Thanks for house sitting!

'I get this awful dream where I'm walking down the street - Completely clothed!'

My annual treecation. Just a guy and his tree. And his iPad, iPod, iTouch, Macbook, previous generation of all of the above for backup purposes. And a small power generator. Just us and the quiet solitude of nature. Beep, beep, beep, beep, B -