Used Car Enthusiast Gifts

'At least you know exactly where you stand with a dealer like Bob.'

"If you want me to evict the hobo living in the back seat it'll cost you extra."

'One owner. The guy lost his license.'

'You misunderstand, Squire. All I guarantee is that all cars have been used!'

'Owned by a little old lady?... That explains all the kitty litter.'

"For my money...any care looks good."

"Yep...Isn't she a beaut! And just one previous owner."

"Why do they do that?"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

Clown throws a bucket of confetti over car at 'Jimbo's carwash'.

"I need to tinkle."

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Dog Park

'Are we nearly there yet?'

Sailor in Car.

There's no such thing as a triple carburetor bypass!

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Under pressure.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Man has a picture of a rolls on his garage door...the car inside is very different.

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

'Enough already. It's a car, not a transporter.'

Deflator mouse

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

Motor Tourism

Useless add-ons.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

Coexist. Coexhaust.

"As you can hear, it has an engine that purrs ... '

"G.P.S. FOR GUYS"

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'