Urban Relocation Gifts

Brooklyn

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

The fate of the emigrant

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"Freudian, Jungian, Adlerian – none of it compares to retail therapy."

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Angels await for their baggage around carousels.

Wifi in Hell

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Welcome To New York City...Subject to the following conditions.

'Great news, Dear! I've been traded to a think tank in California for a PhD Specializing in the Baltics!'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I always check 2 bags, but one's just a sacrifice to the luggage gods."

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

"Did you remember to take the trash in?"

No Immediate Danger

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

A man is living in small box apartment trying to read a book, but is surrounded by people engaging in noisy activities.

Man sees sign stating dog for sale, house and land thrown in.

Packed like sardines

“It's $195 million. Now, I know what you're thinking: 'OK, what's the catch?'”

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

You are here.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Manhatten Brooklyn Hoboken Long Island"

Is Driving Doomed?

Junk art/ food/ tv/ music/ amusements/ novels/ views/ life.

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

"Cancel the trip. The cook didn't get a visa."

"But if you leave New Orleans, you'll be just another sandwich."

"I can remember when having a '212' phone number still meant something in this world."