Urban Cowpoke Gifts

"I think you need to enroll yourself in a good two-step program."

New Guy.

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

"I broncobust and I Dust-Bust. You got a problem with that?"

Sick Rancher Humor

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

'Someday, son, when I've gone to that big roundup in the sky all this will be yours.'

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

A Grazing Shark

'I don't feel at home on the range.'

'Loose Nuke Round Up!'

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Hey, buddy, this is a cattle subdivision.'

"It's broken I'm afraid." "Will I be able to work?" "Depends. What do you do?" "Oh, I'm just a cowpoke for Circle 'Y' Ranch."

"Hitch up your horse, Tex. It's time for lunch."

'Soon as the roundup is over and we head for a saloon we'll need a volunteer to be the designated drover.'

A cowboy on a computer receiving his 'gee gee mail'

'I must be going. Shawn is getting restless.'

'God darn it Tex! I kept telling you if you keep on punching cows one day one is going to punch you back.'

'Hello Shitty.'

A horse of a different color, and matching scarf.

Cow Boy

"Ok stranger - you draw first...."

"The buck stops here. You called?"

'How'd you like to become my sidekick?'

OK Corral.

Cow Writers Block.

"And I don't want you tellin' those cowpokes back at the bar-zo 'bout this pillow!"