Urban Clash Enthusiasts T-Shirts

'HEYYY! That's new CARPET,you JERK!!' - Life in the fast lane.

T. S. Eliot Meets Beavis And Butthead

Giant slug attacks a city

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

Monster Clown

"Herb's from Texas."

"Oh, c'mon! Who eats aardvark with a fork?"

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

'I've heard it's the new dance craze from America.'

Joseph, returns his coat of many colours: 'Can I exchange this? It clashes with everything?'

"I remember when this was all forest..."

The battle of the pianos.

"How am I rampaging?"

"London prepares for the arrival of Philly sports fans."

The merger has been called off

"Virgin?! My bad. . . I thought you asked for a vegan."

"I can't decide which one of you should get the promotion, so I'm setting up a boxing match between you two to decide."

"Until we hear different, it's Jersey's problem."

Latte, numbskull. We offer zero percent financing. No money down and no interest for two weeks. You then make eight monthly payment at 25% interest. How greedy. Well, coincidentally, I'm offering 0% coffee in my mouth ... Uh-oh. 100% dumped on your head. Must finance new shirt.

Chinese New Year plus Renaissance Fair equals trouble

'What do you mean, there's no casino here? Your franchise in Vegas has one.'

'Gesundheit, , , what's wrong need a kleenex or something'

"Earthlings are funny! They have three heads, two of them wearing hoods!"

A Cornish Man

Culture Wars

Eskimo opera singer, "He's from Opera North"

'The opera cards come in a p.o.p display. Can we mve the beef jerky down a smidge?'

"I'm originally from Manhattan but I grew up in the Midwest."

"Why, no, Zeke, I didn’t read Jesse Barron’s interview with Rachel Kushner in the spring issue of The Paris Review."

Noise: An Overview.

Sadie's gone to Canada. I'm going to save her. Why? Mrs. Cohen doesn't need saving. No, I mean I'm going to save Canada. You people are too #?%&? nice. Excellent diction, eh. U.S. Canada.

Fu Dynasty

Dept. of Traffic Disruption.

"Get outta here—I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die, too!"

Indians: 'At last.'