Urban Art Aficionado Gifts

'It's a shame how poorly maintained this school is. My graffiti is peeling off along with the paint.'

Self published

You're my Mona Lisa.

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Paul Klee

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Cariactures

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

"I got 30 likes but Mom's was not one of them."

(Camel paintings)

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

Distractions Of The Great

Wok. Don't Wok.

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Mr. Right!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

Horti-Culture

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Baroque Peacock

"You're my Mona Lisa."

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."

Painting taking root...

Spring Training

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'