Upgrade Admirer Pillows

Adam was okay, but I like version 2.0!

"Boss, the AI is actually smarter than all of us! It read our business forecast, jumped up and ran out laughing!"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

Robocop and Juliet.

'Gravity...Go figure!'

My new laptop is nicer than your new laptop. I'm not going to get into a competition about whose new laptop is nicer. The one I replaced is nicer than the one you replaced. Stop it.

Atomic Bear: Part 22

"Amazon's new A.I. just 'gets' me."

The Complete Book of Baby Names. Oooh, what do you think of 110101110110? Isn't that cute?

Robot Jogger

Books: Soon to be made into a major computer App.

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

Man feeding his computer money.

"I think that was one upgrade to many for Chris!"

Robot walking pet robot

"The good news is I used AI to fill in my March tournament bracket and I won the whole thing. The bad news is AI has become self aware and wants the prize money."

"This next song is about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

I've been told I can order a small mocha. Told? Because of my heart rate and activity level over the past seven days, I've been allotted a daily limit of 1,426 calories. I'm told that's just enough to include one small mocha. Hold on … there's vibrating ... Hold on ... hold on ... buffering ... Bing! Fitness overlords says I'm one calorie away from a medium mocha. It says yelling burns one calorie. I've got to get that app.

Robot Cats - Cleaner, don't shed, and they're programmable.

'All I did was to connect an artificial heart to artificial legs, to an artificial kidney, to...'

"No, this is 111110100111101111 ... you want 111110100111101101."

The Robotics Department. It says here that these guys completely replace all the cells in their bodies every seven years! Wow! What a slow upgrade cycle! If we don't replace all our parts every six months we become obsolete! It makes you wonder why they're in charge! Yeah, like they expect us to remember thousands of gigabytes of data while they forget their passwords! (Published originally on April 19, 2006)

"A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer."

The Thinker

"It's even more controversial than uber. It's a driverless taxi."

"Is that one of those cars that tells you when it needs maintenance?"

Machine consciousness - a robot thinking. The thought is in the form of a printed circuit board. The robot is a clockwork toy robot, to emphasise the infancy of the concepts involved

'Can you believe it? - This hayseed doesn't even know which GALAXY we're in!'

"Man, how to you guys get that great new flying saucer smell in here?!'

"There's the mailman!"

"Good news, sir – your carry-on has been upgraded to business class."

"I can't stand this new hardware. It's much harder than the old hardware."

The Before-You-Know It-It'll-Be-Obsolete Computer Company

AI Toaster: "What's Einstein's famous equation?"

'Oh, God I have to talk to a *****! Human!'