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"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Well, Mr. 'I don't need any sunblock', what have you got to say for yourself now?'

Scarecrows guarding a field

The new global mantra flag for the future

"Hey guys - wrote a new song! It's called 'I suggested Paris.' And a' one, two three..."

About 40% of the nation's coronavirus deaths could have been prevented...

"Queen begins with Q, it should be precisely here."

Nun confronts mugger.

"You mean to tell me I can only vote against one Congressman?"

"He's just discovered that out 450,000 blog rebuttal campaign was directed against a 12 year old in Swindon using his mums computer."

"Stocks closed higher on news that despite market volatility, Edgar Freund, just an average investor from Petoskey, Michigan, decided not to sell anything."

Omicron: "Viva 2022!"

'Well doctor, is it serious?'

Ebola Clinic

"My goodness, Gurkenham! This is the worst case of identity theft I've ever seen!"

Swine Flu danger as a pandemic

"Relax, it's not the killer-virus. It's 'Saturday Night Fever' so he'll be 'stayin' alive'."

Keep out - Covid-19

"No, it won't last long, but while it does I aim to fight as much evil as possible."

'Could we have a little chat when you're through here?'

'The opportunity to be fair and just is rewarding - but what I especially like is taking the law into my own hands.'

'Is it catching?'

'You have voted, yes! Have your SHEEP voted!'

"Sac Meuniere is a typical dish from the coast and we'll begin with first removing the fresh plastic bag from the fish!"

'Yer luck's run out old timer - I've come fer what's mine!'

"Don't read it! He's phishing."

Omicron Ruins the 2022 Party

COVID 22

'What precautions,have you got in place to prevent swine flu?'

"Darn, I've done it again!"