University Tours T-Shirts

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Bradley Wiggins

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

"...it's another metal detector."

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

'I think we have some stowaways.'

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

College of Liberal (not in the political snese) arts.

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

Whale Watch Tours.

"For big, important things, it's the Met and the Modern, of course—but the Whitney is great for stocking-stuffers."

"I was curious, so I went to the University to listen to a course on Radar techniques..."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

Philosophy Department - Are You Really Here?

"Today we're filling out mock college applications."

"I'll go in and look at stuff, but I won't read any signage."

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

"These are the scientists behind some of your favorite preservatives."

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

'...And now a word from our sponsors...'

Winery tours.