University Supporter Mugs

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

Major US universities, public view: ATHLETICS...everything else.

'The owners of Walmart have donated $275 million to Arizona State University. The donation will be in the form of dented plastic jugs and leftover Valentine's Day candy.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'It's a tough call but I'm going to side with your parents, if for no other reason, because they can sue and you can't.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

“Today we are going to be learning percentages.”

'Thank you for the apple Conrad. But in answer to your question, no, you may not address me as 'Boopsie'.'

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'I told you hard work would pay off in the third grade, Cate...You've had three job offers.'

"She's the best nit nurse this school has ever seen."

'Oooh, Jimmy, the teacher put another throwing star on your paper! Great!'

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"I'm the last to go home because my parents are still fine tuning their work-life balance."

'Oh Darling, I'm so proud! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

Coach Prime Cleans House

Med School Mascots.

We pride ourselves on having every type of insurance policy, but report card insurance is a new one to us.

'It's the parents' 4x4x400 metres.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

School administrator of the year "Accepting for Susan Curtis is her clinical psychologist."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

'Boasting bumper stickers.'

'It's someone from the Society for Ethical Treatment of Principals asking for a donation.'

'If the key to effective classroom management is consistency, I guess I'm an effective classroom manager, I am consistently exhausted at the end of the day.'

Kid to class: 'I'll read my book report in a minute, but first, a word about our underpaid teachers ...'

"Let's have refreshments on parents' night. These people need nourishment."

Parents teacher conference.

'My advice to a first year teacher is to teach from the heart, not only from the book.'

"How much longer will we have to help Besty with her homework?"

"Heading to your government schools to be brainwashed?"

"Since they graduated, have any of your children moved back in with you?"

"Hey, look at that. It looks like the stuff we've been using to text each other for years."