University Life Humor Seeker T-Shirts

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

'I got 100 in school today. 50 in history and 50 in maths.'

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"No, I'm not the first in my family to attend college. But I am the first at an Ivy."

'Thirty years in academia and all I got was this chair.'

"What did you study in school today, Gracie?"

Dear folks. Well, you were right; being the prettiest gator of the Everglades hasn't helped me one bit.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

'Dude, you gotta lay off the Mac n' Cheese!'

"I've got news for you. Kids don't have a union and doing your homework is not negotiable."

Breakfast at Universities

'When I was your age, an 'A' did not stand for 'adequate'.'

"I'd like to propose a bill to the effect that we can remain freshmen indefinitely."

Undergraduate and don

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

The Pi Advantage

"Let me guess, you joined Alpha Delta Dogma"

"Here's my final exam. My lawyer said I didn't have to answer any of these questions."

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'I recommend you major in something other than meat.'

"I don't care whay they do at college, you'll scrub them off at once"

"Are you nuts? If we say we've found the sun is a White Hole we'll lose our funding!"

'Yes, your father studied at a 'red brick university'. He never graduated though, because he's as thick as a red brick!'

'I was desperate, dear. I had to find a way to teach and do all my required publishing.'

'The cloud ate my homework.'

"Sorry, this is NOT a school, it is a university: we have an entrance exam..."

Girl sees two vending machines: 'Pop' and 'Culture'