University Hopeful T-Shirts

'I'm sorry but we don't have athletic scholarships for video games.'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"While we certainly congratulate you on your acceptance to the University of Hawaii, Sandra..."

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

"This statement from your headmaster says that you can easily get a good degree...your bank manager says you can't."

I'm getting ready to apply for college. Do you have a list of party schools?

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

'I wish his guidance counselor spent more time on college plans and less time suggesting names for his band.'

"My papie says I'm going to be the first in my family to go to college!"

'OKAY, okay Sandra, I'll PAY for your University course. But it BETTER NOT cost me an arm and a leg!...'

'If you are not careful, son, you will be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

'And here's my collection of stock in DiscoCorp... or as I call it, your college fund.'

'But Marvin, you can't be a college graduate for a living!'

'That's all there is in my college fund? That won't even buy the beer!'

"The extent of your extracurricular activities in high school, may very well be participation in regular program of oral hygiene using an effective decay preventaative tooth paste, but that won't get you into a good university."

Universidad

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

Romney refines his platform.

'I'm working on a ten year degree. Four years in school, and six years to pay off my student loans.'

"My dad doesn't nag me enough about going to college."

'Well, Gosh...! How did you know I was an incoming freshman...?'

'You're never going to follow me in my trade, Son - you may as well go to university.'

'If you aren't careful, son, you'll be mathematically eliminated from all of the Ivy League schools.'

"Let's face it Simkins, the only way you'll ever get to medical school is by donating your body to science."

"Do you think about life after high school? Like...what are you taking when you go to college?"

"When you get to Uni be sure to let that hair down responsibly."

'Yale's my first choice but any ivy school will do.'

College of Arts and Sciences (and a few things to fall back on).

"I'm leaning towards NYU."