University Experiences Pillows

'I need time off to go back to college and party. Fraternity leave.'

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

Tourists

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

Kung food restaurant (Waiter flies through the air bringing the food).

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

Math Major Pennants. ISOSCELES. SCALENE EQUILATERAL.

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Good Luck!

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

'I'm majoring in communication and minoring in pizza delivery - What about you?'

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Philosophy Department. Why may I direct your call?"

"Academic freedom doesn't mean you're free not to study."

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'The Great Depression? Didn't they have Prozac then?'

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

"Don't tell me, first time away from home, right?"

'I like the history professor but I think he's mired in the past.'

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Professor, we need you to stop. The Student Union has decided that the earth is flat."

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

Big Rock University. Guidance Counselor. I'd like to switch my major from hunting to gathering!

"No, the Geo Metros, Hyundais, Rabbits, and Kias belong to faculty - the Alfa Romeos, BMWs, and Volvos belong to students."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

University Cafeteria. The first semester of college is tough. I'm not taking geography because I couldn't find the classroom on the map. I'm way behind on my archeology assignments. I'm buried and need to dig my way out. And everybody in political science lies and cheats to get ahead. How are you doing in statistics? I think I'm doing very well! My test scores are hugely below the class median. I should probably learn what that means.

I love Museum Shops

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"