University Evaluation Prints

'This is the time when the University started to rank our research by the number of publications, not the quality of the publications...'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Let me put it this way: I'm hitting 'Unlike' and 'Unhire.'"

"Compare Calculate Contrast Before you make a move"

'I think the professor is trying out the theory of relativity... trying to make time fly!'

'No, no, no, Tompkins! We decided to make today Causal Friday, not Casual Friday!'

"I'm getting tired of telling you you can't have a raise!"

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

You got into the college of my choice, and I got into the college of your choice. Now if we could just work something out...

Time, Temp, Today's Neutrino Mass

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

"I will refute my wife's allegations that I'm a work obsessed pedant with the aid of a slideshow presentation."

'You get paid for what you produce at work not what you produce at home.'

'I can show you in our panic room while you're waiting to see the boss.'

"You've screwed up, messed up and played up. I didn't realise you were so multi-skilled."

"I see that grading papers for the teacher is going to your head."

'Treat me easy this morning.'

Jeff hated performance reviews.

Cash For Places - Penbroke College

Sex Score

"This looks cool, Mum, a university offering a degree course in Greed."

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

Grading Guidelines.

"Done with the evaluations? Great! Now let's evaluate the evaluations!"

"Has it been in your family long?"

'If we could just get rid of a few of these lecturers and students, we'd have a great university on our hands.'

'Your performance review is in...and it's not good.'

"Maybe we should go back to requiring standardized tests."

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

"It's our first anniversary, so I've written up your performance review...."

The tube's a nightmare today

"Is this book a true story or is it true it's a story?"