University Challenges Gifts

"I have a lot of student loans to pay back."

"I didn't finish the proof but I did write this poem about my struggle."

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

Courage. Love.

Ski Slope Rated Black Due To Wall At The Bottom

Tic-tac-toe

"Sometimes it helps to turn a question around. Why not you?"

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"According to my calculations...school starts in exactly 20 days!"

"I did seize the day. But then it seized me right back and used some kind of jujitsu move to flip me on my ass."

"Shouldn't you be studying?

"Look at me - I can do this!"

Happy Days are here again

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

Discomfort zone.

'My mind was a million miles away today, but that wasn't far enough.'

'The ‘class clown' thing is my fault. I totally misjudged the crowd.'

"...and I'd like to thank my mother, who is a lesbian, for guiding me through a real tough gender-identity crisis."

When the going gets tough the tough gets going...and the rest hide in the washroom and cry.

"If it makes any difference, it's a remarkable piece of plagiarism."

"Baldo, I'm proud of you for admitting you were wrong, but remember...a man who makes no mistakes usually does not make anything."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

PEP TALKS!

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

"Well, put it this way - A semi-colon is better than a full stop."

Life gives you lemons

'Ironically, before I fell on hard times, I was a professional wine taster.'

"What say we make this one of those 'some days you get the bear' days?"

Joe's Bar: Your money back if you think you're man enough!

"Triple espresso." "Forget it, Uncle Mort. Your doctors said no caffeine." "I am not your Uncle Mort. I am someone else altogether." "Oh yeah? Who are you?" "I am... Drinkum... Coffeeman... Worthington-Smythe... of the Florida Coffeeman-Worthington-Smythes." "You may have heard of us... We're a family of... um... troubadours. I, myself, wrote several ballads for the likes of Sinatra, Pat Boone, and Jimi Hendrix." "So if I were to Google that right now, Google would confirm that?" "Google

Getting Old Sucks: "Incontinence hotline. Can you hold please?"

Covid Winter

"Your money is no longer working for you. It got laid off."

'Don't know what else to do. The medication obviously isn't working.'