University Admirer T-Shirts

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

Scientists are sexy

"I want a top education, but don't milk me dry with school fees."

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

Santa does a keg stand.

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

Police Cow!

Teacher and students.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

We learn by doing

Med School Mascots.

"And now, we embark on a new chapter..."

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

"I'm very proud of the grade A's, son, but what about these grade B smalls?"

"I guess we love Uni because we get to narrow our minds with like-minded people."

Let me guess...you peed on your homework again!

"I've spent more sending my son on college campus tours than I did getting my degree."

"If you insist on giving me a gift for being accepted into Oxford, I could use a new DVD player...gift wrapped in a BMW."

Why The Other DInosaurs Couldn't Stand The Thesaurus

The Artificial Intelligentsia

'Quit basketball to concentrate on school. Are you crazy? Do you want to end up like all those other dreamers with a college degree and no job?'

Sherlock Holmes gets back at Professor Moriarty through reduced research funding.

"School is loverly this time of year."

'I admit I copied all my essays from the internet.'

WPC

Harvard Waiting List

The Dean of Physics Demonstrates the Basic Premise of Give and Take, And in Particular Take, To Professor Kott.

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'..And remember, your success will be measured in how much you donate to the university's alumni fund.'

"I hear we're all getting valentines from Lawrence Summers."

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

Oxford tour guides