Union Jokesters Mugs

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

Children disturbing a heart rate reading.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Don't tell me we're eating Paleo again."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

"You're good at asking all the right questions. Now let's hear some right answers."

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

Ted did have some concerns about the appearance of nepotism.

Tortoise and hare on treadmills.

"Your therapy will be a combination of drugs and clowns."

Student to math teacher: 'My dog ate my homework and got arithmetics.'

"I've called this meeting so I could see all of you squirm."

"What are you trying to tell me, girl? Are you hungry? You’re not hungry? The squirrels are skinny-dipping in the pool? Cats are making a hook rug out of your bed? You dug up Jimmy Hoffa?!" "Mitch liked messing with his dog's head."

'Look at it this way ... one bad job can can give you all the experience you'll ever need.'

"Why settle for itsy-bitsy when you could be swole as hell?"

'One hundred and forty? You don't look a day over one hundred and thirty nine!'

"I have to start thinking out of the box."

Man on desert island using elastic to shoot him off the island.

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'It's Jones Sir! He's showing of his ball point pen again!'

"It's good to be able to recognize everyone."

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

Dorothy gets a visit from her funny Valentine.

"It's dress down day!"

'What, not even a kiss first?'

'A lackluster style got me to where I am, and a lackluster style is going to keep me here.'

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

"The good news is that you will have a healthy baby girl. The bad news is that she is a congenital liar."

Peniteniary for the terminally silly.

Clerk: 'Boy that Delivery guy sure has a THICK accent!'

STRIP Hambone: Zebra computer repairman

'I can't make it, I'm dead.'

That's no largemouth bass, son - You caught yourself a rare blabbermouth bass. I'm nothin'! A nobody! Throw me back and I'll show you where the really big fish are!