Unhealthy Diet Connoisseur Pillows

'You're one to talk!'

"Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Good cholesterol, bad cholesterol. Finally, I cracked."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Man Eating Minimalist Meal

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

A Sticky Buns Bakery is positioned next to a gym.

All Natural Nothing

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Doctor to man with 'Push' door on mouth: 'It looks as though you've been eating a lot of junk food lately.'

'Simple - it's your high-protein diet that keeps you so manic.'

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'As you're pregnant, I suppose you are eating for two? Or don't you want to cut down that much?'

'Trouble is they always forget to return them...'

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"To lose weight they said I've just had to give up two things. . .food and drink!"

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

"I'm not sure what's causing your stomachache. But I think it's safe to rule out hunger pains."

"Double whammy. My weight now exceeds my credit score."

'Who cares about content? With a title like this it'll sell millions!'

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

'However hard I try to lose weight, it always finds me again.'

"I'm putting you on a high fiber low taste diet."

'Apparently the nutrients and the additives cancel each other out.'

'Did you fart, sweetie?'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

Fat man on scales.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'This high fiber diet is great! I've lost 10 pounds since I started eating my stuffing.'