Unexpected Twists Explorer Prints

'My ad said I was 'blond with curves' it didn't say anything about me being a woman.'

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"I just found a unicorn! Apparently, they just want to be left alone."

"Wait, am I hear for you or are you here for me?"

'Tommy is in the other room playing with the triangle we bought him in Bermuda.'

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

'Look! There's a Zyzzkzkk!'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

Bird Bath.

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

'You're experienced with blood stains I trust?' (Smarthy ACME Carpet Cleaners)

'J.B. Potts, Head of Research, Aerodynamics...'

"Spirit! Are you a chatbot?"

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

"Not much is known about them. They apparently, had a highly advanced, thriving civilization. Then one August, everyone left the city and never returned."

"The thing of it is I don't even fish!"

'You may choose either everlasting life or whatever is behind the curtain.'

Myths and Other Urban Legends

"All I get is a bird's eye view."

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

'How am I doing?'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

Implications of the quantum wavefunction 12: 'You can never be complete safe.' Until it actually hits something a fired projectile could materialize anywhere.

"...To sum up, then, everything is illusory - Do you guys have any questions?"

"This is not Easter Island. My boat sank before getting there."

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

"It was buried only last month, but we couldn't wait."

'Regardless, our trip to the Upper Amazon was fine. You know David--everything has to be perfect.'

Unusual Retirement Plans

"Fore!"