Unexpected Twist Lover Prints

The hearse was a write-off. But at least no one was killed. Again.

'Wait a minute,' thought Bob. 'This isn't my book. And those aren't my hands.'

'You called a plumber!'

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

Death Photobombs a Holiday

'I wouldn't do that if I were you, mister. This saloon is made entirely of ninjas.'

Penguin emerges from freezer. Man says: 'This freezer needs defrosting.'

Muggers nick nurses bag only to be showered in syringes

'When you said you were a dog person, I naturally assumed you just liked dogs.'

Joe, this is not my idea of 'paint night at the bar.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Why didn't one of the bears just call 9-1-1 and have that girl arrested for trespassing?"

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"You weren't expecting a walrus, right?"

That lovely summer day, Little Red Riding Hood decided to deviate from the script.

"I see you also took the road less travelled!"

Magicians hat being pulled out of a rabbit

'Careful, Mugsy, he's got a tool.'

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

Rip Van Winkle, "He's survived the operation, now he's sleeping peacefully."

The princess and the key

"The back flip was a nice touch."

"You're right...it's football strategy! I think I presented our financial proposal to the youth team I coach! I must get more sleep!"

"Schedule the 'voyeur' and the 'exhibitionist' for the same time. I want them to meet."

'Looks like the invasion has already began...'

Season's Greetings and a Prosperous New Year.

'A wolf in sheep's clothing is one thing, but Grandma's clothing... Are you gay or something?!'

"… and they lived happily ever after… until the princess caught the prince with the chambermaid!"

"And I was all like - severed head in a sack? What severed head in a sack?"

'Gentlemen, my card! I'm a lawyer.'

". . . and now, someone who needs no introduction. . ."

Next on Fox! Clowns Without Makeup.

"I have a better idea! Let's squeeze the apple and ferment the juice!"

"When he thinks back about this years from now, he'll only remember the good probes."

"Turns out the sound of the squeaky toy was coming from inside the house."