Unexpected Quitters Club Pillows

'I'm worried. I gave up smoking without any trouble.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

'It's a nicotine patch...I've been smoking too much.'

Niche Extracurriculars

"Dear Diary... I've stopped smoking, and I'm sticking to my diet."

"This poem was written at a time in my life when I wrote a poem."

'Since he stopped smoking, he doesn't know what to do with his mouth.'

'On the contrary-I quite enjoy that Monday morning feeling!'

Pole Vaulting Club

'There's something about being locked up with a 500lb gorilla, highly allergic to cigarette smoke, that works every time.'

Late again.

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"My chronic condition has been pestering me every single day for the past six months. I'm a lifelong quitter so its persistence is troubling me."

'As President of the Annoying Saying Society, just let me say,,,,,enjoy,'

'Be wormier!'

"I'd like to be on time for school but it makes the day too long!"

"That's right, Mr. Jenkins, we rejected your membership application because you wrote your name on it..."

'The only time I ever worked up a sweat in there was just then, when I tried to cancel my membership!'

"On your marks! Get set!. . ."

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

"Rule one of Fart Club is everyone follows through in this Fart Club."

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

'I belong to so many book clubs I no longer have time to read!'

'Sorry, you can't smoke in the control group.'

'Do the patches help?'

"Sorry I'm late. Heavy traffic."

'We play in the cat protection league.'

Girl Guided Missile

"I have to get up early tomorrow, it's my turn to get the worm."

"Billy, if you want to join the Spanish Club, that's cool. In fact, we can make you a member right now."