Unexpected Investor Mugs

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"Okay, it if makes you feel better...yes, I have stock in a banana company."

"I'd like these invested in an aggressive mutual fund."

"The first thing we should do is get you two into a good mutual fund. Let me get out the 'Magic 8 Ball' and we'll fun some options."

The Stock Market.

Investments: We have locally grown stocks.

Locally Grown Stocks, Farm Fresh CDs, Free Range Annuities.

"You should consider buying."

Animal worries.

I have a dream.

"It's all show-as soon as Marks gone he switches off the football and reads Proust..."

The last of the Mom and Pop brokerage houses

'That's Renfrew -- he's in charge of high-risk portfolios.'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

"Don't put your money into stocks. Bury it!"

'What's the difference between exchange-traded derivatives and swaps?'

Oil explodes from the wishing well.

'Finzter, our newest investment adviser, believes that money can make you happy.'

Man reading in lamp

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Foot Massage

'...but the good new is your old Enron stock has become a high-priced collectible!'

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

Garage Sale: Assorted shares of stocks.

'Look on the bright side - Our investments with Bernie Madoff must REALLY be paying off by now!'

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'One look at you and I thought 'footsie world stock fund.''

'I'm doomed anyway, so I may as well make the most of it...'

"In my family we're forbidden from mentioning my uncle...he made his money with cat food stocks!"

Low-Rent Stockholders