Unexpected Company Lover Gifts

A surprise visit

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

'I've decided to step down as your CEO in order to spend more time in jail...'

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"

'I heard the Board was talking about kicking you, but I don't know if it's upstairs or out.'

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

Please bring me a few sharpened pencils and some lucrative business.

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

In and Out Sourced.

Office meeting

"Comparing our salaries with the workers' salaries makes me cry...with laughter!"

"Who's next?"

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

"You're quitting? You're walking out?? Couldn't you have at least waited until I finished outsourcing the company??!"

'This is just an informal pledge that we all go through.'

'Nice power tie, J.B.'

"Everybody's impressed with how you can shred incriminating documents into one long strand."

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'Here are some bonus checks. Distribute them unfairly.'

Business Duck

'He's faxing like there's no tomorrow.'

"Okay, like, the good news is we can pay Paul. The bad news is we gotta rob Peter."

"Just as I thought! You used our competitor's paper for your resume!"

'Kroogshank, why do I think that you try to hide from responsibility?'

'We offer full benefits. A desk, a chair and your very own cubicle.'

"No, you can't have a raise. You didn't say, 'mother, may I'."

'Vicious, intelligent and ruthless? Certainly. But I think my biggest asset is that I'm a survivor!'

My department was abducted by aliens so there is no data between January and April.

"It's the most hostile takeover I've ever been involved in"

'... and finally, to my business partner I leave my corporate parking space.'

'I do good work... unfortunately, I don't do it here.'

"Hate to see you leave, Dave...especially since it was just last week that I learned you worked for me."