Unemployment Prints

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"Got canned for calling in sick too often. I thought absence was supposed to make the heart grow fonder."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'Which bit of 'You're fired' don't you understand?'

'...then I said, 'give me a raise, or I quit'.'

"Since he lost his job I try to keep him busy around the house."

English major will work for food.

"We ran out of toilet paper. Luckily, I have a whole box of my resumé."

'To celebrate Labor Day, you should first have a job!'

'With the kids back home and unemployed, it's hard to believe I ever suffered from empty nest syndrome.'

'We offer competitive pay, good benefits and an attractive severance package.'

'Son, your mother and I have decided to let the free market take care of you.'

The company relocated - didn't they tell you?

'Sorry Sir, but 'impersonating a log' is not a very marketable skill...'

'We're letting you go, Hargrove. You're a young man of vision, integrity, high ideals and you make the rest of us look bad.'

"I didn't get the job. They hated my Zoom background."

'Why can't you be more like your brother? He may be unemployed, but at least he's overworked!'

'Sorry, dad, I'm so busy chattin' with friends I just can't work.'

'I'd like a job.'

'The boss came up and said, 'there are too many guys named Kevin around here' and so - I was fired!'

I thought the boss had a sense of humor.

'It doesn't contain anything that'll help you find a job.'

'Me? Actually I'm a writer. . . Well, er, at the moment it's mainly job applications.'

New course - Surviving Unemployment

"Actually we're looking for someone who is just happy to have a job!"

"So how long is your extended administrative leave?"

"So, you have a family. They'll be a comfort."

"You're great at expressing your emotions. What you're bottling up now is job skills."

"How long has your dad been out of work?"

"If somebody's listening to this conversation, I need a job."

"Sorry, Ted. I probably should have said 'spoiler alert' before I fired you."

"Cheer up, Jimbo -- It's only a matter of time before one of those big executive searches going on out there stumbles across you."

"We're very sorry, Templeton."

"That's right, C.J., enjoy your last fling."

"Isn't it incredible that both of is, at this exact same moment are unemployed/"