Unemployment Advisor T-Shirts

Dolestart - A New Initiative

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Fill out an application? Can't I just text it?"

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

"Work hard, make the sacrifices and in 25 years you could be just like me!"

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"This your resumé?" "Yes, it's a list of things I hope you never ask me to do."

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

'You lack the expertise we're looking for, Mr Wheaton - but darn it, I like your attitude.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

'You say you're willing to start at the bottom...'

'Hunting and gathering doesn't sound very interesting, so I have decided to become a consultant.'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

'This is the last time we post job openings,'

'I think and work spectacularly well either inside or outside the box.'

"I'm good at ticking boxes."

"The boss told me I have to start at the bottom."

'Can't stand diary products myself, but a job's a job.'

"Everything looks real good...except these long gaps in your work history every winter."

'You're one heck of a corporate head-hunter, Ms. Bridwell.'

'Jumping over a candle stick is known as an entry level job.'

'It's a difficult position to fill. Someone who's smarter than me - and smart enough to pretend not to know it.'

"Victims of out-sorcery."

'So, what do you want to be when you grow up: rebel scum or loyal servant of the supreme android republic?'

Your position has been outsourced, Blue bottle...if you wish to continue working for us...may I suggest relocating and taking a 600 pay cut.

'Henry has found his niche with us.'

Opp'y of a Lifetime

"I'll have to get someone younger to look at your résumé. I'm not fluent in emoji."

'Right, I hope that gives you an idea of what the work is about, any questions?'

'Worker or Soldier: Is that all you can suggest? Not much of a choice is there!...'