Unemployed Pillows

"Right now, I'm between naps."

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

America's Biggest Export...

Job centre - casual jobs; rotten, insecure low-paid jobs;dull, boring, repetitive jobs; Jobs that no-one in their right mind would consider.

"Even after all that's happened, I feel no less regal."

"Ebenezer, you will be visited by an unemployed worker, a part-time, low-wage McDonald's employee and a disgruntled walmart staffer."

"I'm sorry, Davis, but your face no longer fits."

Two bored males hanging out on a tatty sofa.

Infamous last words: 'We get the same pay and benefits,no way will I pat union dues!'...WILL WORK FOR FOOD.

'Bad news I'm afraid Perkins. We've found a celebrity to do your job'.

"Well, YOU tell personnel you need every winter off and see if you get a job!"

'Oh s**t, I've been offered a job!'

Temp Agency - Foreign Sweatshops now hiring!

Worthless degree and no NBA career to fall back on.

'Of course I have a phone here. This is my office.'

A Temporary One Day A Year Job Is Not Enough, I Want A Permanent Job!

'He used to live in the fast lane, it's more like a blind alley now.'

"I just lost my job as a flag pole sitter."

'Okay, so you lost your job. Remember, one door closes and another one opens.'

Unemployment Math

'So far more education hasn't helped me get a job. I think I'll get some student loans and get some more education.'

'You were fired after 25 years of hard and reliable work? Wow... I bet now you know how it feels to be treated like a dog!'

A Sign Your Job Search is Getting Desparate.

"If we were at work... We'd be at lunch now."

"They canceled my golden parachute and I had to use the fire escape."

"I want to get him something for Christmas he's never had before."

"Can I get paid in toilet paper squares?"

"Congratulations on your retirement, Simmons. . ."

Inflate a job!

"I'd like to return my degree. It's not working for me."

"What the hell did they fire you for?"

If we were at work we'd be at lunch now.

"I think it is who you know and I know you.''

ISIS, on the other hand, is hiring

America's Rich Tapestry of Unemployment