Ugly Sweater Aficionado T-Shirts

"That'll be twenty even—ten for the wine and a ten-dollar tax on the hapless sweater."

Bauble

Romance

'...and I only have eyes, for ewe...'

"Honestly sometimes I'd like to pretend I don't know you!"

"Have you seen that sweater that you crocheted for me?"

Christmas sweater alternatives

"Shouldn't have, you really."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

"I'm never ready for sweater weather."

Ugly Holiday Sweaters

"Why can't you just wear a doggie sweater?"

"Arr! This isn't the map to the treasure, it's the map to me winter sweaters."

cat singing into microphone

"We have every visible wavelength in stock. What color would you like to filter out?"

"It was a crime of fashion."

"Whoa. Jeff. You snagged your sweater."

"Next Christmas, I drive the cattle, you go see Mom."

"We can only distract the shareholders with our ugly Christmas sweaters for so long."

"Everyone's always calling my sweaters ugly."

'I accidentally flipped onto my back and couldn't get up. That's the last time I wear a turtleneck.'

High in the Peruvian Andes, the alpaca sweater is born.

"What are you complaining about? You've been looking for an excuse to go off your diet."

"Haven't you guys ever heard of 'casual Fridays'?"

'Don't be silly, I like my sweaters a little big.'

Reindeer Sweater

Free sweatshirts for our customers (sweatshirts read: Survived the last heating bill!)

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I do have a cat. Why do you ask?"

'I take back everything I said about this sweater you knitted for me.'

'Do red sweaters have that carcinogenic red dye #2 in them?'

Turtleneck Alternatives