Udderly Hilarious Humans Prints

Bar Code Cows.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

Extremely Practical Jokes.

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Government survey into the effects of haggis throwing in Ethiopia.

'And though he died during the hunt, we can only assume that George L Jones would want this new species of butt-faced clown monkey to forever bear his name.'

"Mum, please jump up and down . . . I feel like a milkshake."

'Upon further review, the pig did not have control of the ball prior to being eaten...'

4-Panel: (1) 'Did you read this article on cockroaches?' (2) 'It says scientists have confirmed conditioned reflexes in cockroaches, just like Pavlov's dogs. I don't know if I believe that!' (4) 'What's for dinner?'

"Target in range. Ready... hug."

Newton discovers surrealism

Lie detector, "It's a goddam liar bird all right."

Harbor Hotel: 'Absolutely NO swashbuckling after 10 PM'.

"NOBODY LISTENS ANYMORE."

Cow Pat Planning

Robot porn.

"I told you not to order the Zamboni."

Set fazers to 'Wet Fart!'

"Don't leave me dangling!"

Eggs That Were Anagarms In Past Lives -'Unscramble Me'.

Sign on shop: Headquarters: 'Business People for Peace'. Man walks out of shop wearing t-shirt with slogan 'Make money not war'.

"You see, I told you it was worth the climb! Your first 'bird's eye view'. . ."

"This next arrow should shake things up a bit!"

'You do realize that's just a giant novelty fork, right? They used to have one in the restaurant where I worked.'

The one thing that drives elephants wild is sickeningly sweet elevator music.

...and we guarantee the passage of time for the life of the watch!

'You keep promising me you'll change, Reginald, but I haven't got all day!'

'Hip!'

Walk the dog.

"Oh super! Why do I always draw the short straw?!"