U.s. Congress Prints

Welcome to Washington, D.C.!

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'His idea of campaign finance reform is insisting on small bills.'

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

"I plan to read the constitution this weekend. Is it long?"

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"Of course, when I say we the people I mean I the people."

The wind catches Congressman Blowviatt's jerkin.

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

"With an average vote of 3.5 stars, the legislation is passed."

"What do you mean blood sucking pest? You're the one who invited me into your life!"

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

Another Filibuster from the Secretary of the Interior of My Car

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

'We spend a lot, borrow a lot, tax a lot. It keeps things from getting boring.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"What's your position on the Strait of Hormuz?"

Beware of the Legislation

CONGRESS, 'It was a really tight race this time -- I had to use some of my campaign contributions for CAMPAIGNING!'

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

'I know we can't repeal the laws of nature, but I don't see why we can't amend them a little.'

'I saw my shadow this morning, so I guess we're in for six more weeks of government gridlock.'

Mice in the Commons

'Taking bribes is understandable, Senator, but you really shouldn't keep billing records.'

"They heard about the 'Party Hearty' legislation."

'That damn racial scandal.'

'I've thought up a great amendment to campaign finance reform -- special Medicare benefits for sore losers!'

"The average citizen doesn't have a clue - or why would we keep getting re-elected?"

"A reconciliation bill? -- I've been in Congress for 37 years, and I've never reconciled anything!"

'Hi! I'm a freshman -- when do I get corrupted?'

VOTE, 'I'll never lie to you, and this time I mean it!'